The Metal Gear Solid Movie You've Never Seen + Thoughts on My Father

The Metal Gear Solid Movie You've Never Seen + Thoughts on My Father

What I didn't write about in my latest Kill Screen article was the significant role this Saturday morning ritual played into my relationship with my dad. I grew up loving him from a distance, sometimes closer, sometimes scared of him, often in awe, but the fact was that he worked the hard shift as a pilot, and his time was often spent providing for his family. Up until I turned 17, I'd never spent regular, significant time with him.

But I think we're both creatures of habit. "Whenever I go to a different city, I always try out their Rueben sandwiches," he told me recently. When I get into an airport, I buy myself a small black coffee and stare at it miserably while waiting for the gate to open. I also try to put on my best resting bitch face to discourage anyone from talking to me. It's nice not talking to anybody at eleven in the morning.

Mark Doty's Esta Noche and Who the Hell Am I Anyway?

Mark Doty's Esta Noche and Who the Hell Am I Anyway?

I always felt cheated for people not letting me be myself. When I was five, my parents dressed me up in a papery blue shirt and neat kakhi shorts and took me to church. I could handle the first hour. I sang in the choir and watched Bible characters move around on the felt boards in Sunday school . . .

A True Gothic (Redux)

A True Gothic (Redux)

Ann Radcliffe, a pioneer of the literary gothic romance, used terror as a mechanic of self discovery. It’s a concept our culture has dumped for cheap scares and thrills in cinema and games: our fears embody something deeper, perhaps darker than we’d like to admit. Terror is another word for self-discovery . . . Chances are you haven’t played Haunting Ground (Demento in Japan). Released in 2005, the game is a strange brew of gothic horror, psych0sexual torment, and dog training. Most notably, the game was cowritten by Noboru Sugimura, who penned the scripts for several Resident Evil titles and Clock Tower 3

2014 - A Year in Music

Let me tell you about Year End Mixes.

Music gets me. Deeply. I used my graduation presents to buy an iPod back in 2005 and dumped all my music library on it. I took the thing everywhere. Starting out, I listened to a lot of soundtracks, Enya and video game music. 

In 2006 I found some very good reasons to mope. I made new friends—friends who listened to dusty folk and indie rock—and that became my move and groove. I got into Radiohead and shit. I’d walk around grey winter afternoons whispering “we are accidents / waiting to happen”.